Taxi by Kelly Park, Lauren Scherer, and Siggy Cassuto

Characters:

Alex (the reckless one)

Sam (the cautious one)

Avery (the maniac taxi driver)

Avery: [sitting in the driver’s seat]

Alex: [Waving down taxi]

Sam; [yelling] Hey! We need a taxi! Someone!

Avery: Hop on! Business hasn’t been good for me in the past few days!

Sam and Alex: [gets on the taxi]

Avery: [starts driving]

Sam: Are you sure we’re going under the spee-

Alex: [interrupting and screaming] We’re heading towards a cliff!

Sam and Alex: [screaming]

Alex: Stop! STOP!

Avery: [does a sharp turn] Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

Sam [takes a deep breath] Okay, maybe we should get off.

Alex: No, it’s fine. Let’s give him another chance.

Sam: Bu-

Alex: [interrupting] We want to go to the movies.

Avery: Yes, of course. [Does another sharp turn]

Sam: [almost falls over]

Alex: [snickers under his breath]

Sam: [very mad expression] Are you doing this on purpose?

Avery: What? Of course not!

Sam: [suspiciously] Okay…

Avery: Well, the voice in my head says I’m not doing it on purpose.

Sam: Alex, I really think we shou-

Alex: [interrupting and screaming] We’re gonna crash into that wall!

Sam and Alex: [screaming]

Avery: [the taxi inches away from the wall] Oh, the taxi ran out of gas.

Sam: You can stay here and die if you want to, but I’m getting outta here!

Sam: [runs out]

Alex: Uh, yeah, I think we should go.

Avery: But what about my payment?

Sam: [comes back in frame and yells at Avery] Payment? You’re talking about payment when you almost got us killed? I am most definitely not giving you payment! [walks away]

Alex: Sorry, but I gotta go. [also walks away]

All: The End!

Song Quote Story by Lauren Scherer

 Paul was standing in the kitchen.

“Dan, breakfast is ready!” Paul yelled, knowing his husband was already at work and his 2 yr. old wouldn’t wake up until 9.

Dan ran down the stairs of their family’s two story house and said “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”

Dan and Paul ate scrambled eggs and bacon as Paul did the taxes. Dan looked at the clock.

“Bye Dad, I’m heading to school,” Dan yelled to his father as he zipped out the door.

“Bye Dan,” Paul said without looking up. “Have a good day at school.”

Dan unfortunately forgot to look both ways before crossing the street, because he got run over by a crappy purple Scion. “Help me, help me,” Dan yelled.

Paul finished doing his taxes, so he went upstairs and woke up his two yr. old to take her to daycare.

He finally woke up his daughter and drove her to daycare. When he got to the daycare he noticed an infant playing with some stuffed animals near a jukebox. He tapped the baby’s shoulder to get it’s attention then told it, “I love rock and roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baby,” but it didn’t do anything because it was a baby.

Now Paul could go to the school orientation. He had been a teacher at a high school, but he was going to be transferred to a different school. Almost all the teachers at this school were new because the former teachers had figured out dumb ways to die. So many dumb ways to die.

The orientation for the 10th grade section of the school was led by a young woman. Paul whispered to one of his coworkers, “I want to follow where she goes. I think about her and she knows it,” and his coworker replied “Good. Otherwise you’d get lost.”

When the group got to the science lab, a rare species of rat called “Pokemon” had escaped from their cage and were running free in the room. Someone yelled out “Gotta catch ‘em all! Pokemon!”

Sadly, everyone got eaten alive by rats.

Wasabi in Water System, Crocodiles Charged by Lauren Scherer

    Recently the water in Charlotte, North Carolina has been spicy in flavor, and it was found that a group of crocodiles from downtown New York's sewers have been collecting wasabi from sushi restaurants and crawling through the sewers all the way to Charlotte and piping wasabi into the water system for unknown reasons.

    One person from Charlotte says, "I was so sad when I accidentally dropped my sushi in my glass of water-I'm still working on using chopsticks-but it actually tasted amazing!"

    A crocodile from NY says, "Snap, bite bite, snap roar."

    One crocodile mistook some green thinking putty for wasabi, resulting in multiple clogged pipes.

    One woman in Charlotte who's allergic to wasabi died last night after chewing on a pen that had gotten water spilled on it.

    One crocodile called the situation, "Snap roar, bite."

SOME THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK

I learned that when you write, do not waste the reader's time by explaining something in too much, unnecessary detail, so that something that should be explained in a minute is explained in ten minutes. You do not want to lose the reader's trust this way. -- Darrel Zhao

I learned that you have to revise, because nothing is ever perfect on the first try. -- Sammi Lenertz

Something I’ve learned is, that in fantasy you can’t just make it up. You need to set up your own government. Make new type of people. Recreate democracy. I also learned that my favorite authors got rejected a bunch of times. I just can’t believe such good books were rejected!  -- by Sigalit Cassuto

I learned how to properly write journalism. -- Lauren Scherer

Wikipedia's Sonnet by Lauren Scherer

Wikipedia exists to tell me

Useless things like how to make grape ice cream.

I don't want to know about a map's key.

What even is a naval base called Ream?

Why should I know about New Zealand's Alps?

I don't need to know about Persian limes.  

What are pseudoscorpions' pedipalps?

Must I know about the hollow called Kimes?

Why do silkworms like white mulberry leaves?

Why must I know how to use some Chapstick?

Who even is a Carney called Reeves?

Really? Which neurons fire while I lick?

I can never find the info that I need

It has so much useless info, I bleed.

Putty Beach by Lauren Scherer

    A few weeks ago millions of containers of Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty washed up on a California beach near the Santa Monica pier, causing thousands of putty collectors to travel to California to get their hands on specialty putties amidst hundreds of police attempting to stop the mayhem.

    One putty enthusiast says, "Yesterday my cat got into my Mega Super Lava putty and was so coated in it that he died of heatstroke."

    Multiple police officers were hospitalized after being crushed by the wave of people running to get to the pile of beautiful Tidal Wave putty.

    After only a few hours, most of the putty lovers gave up a few tins of putty to help the group that was throwing putty at the blades of the police helicopters in an attempt to jam them.

    The following night a report was mistakenly made that UFO's had landed in NYC after a huge mural of Glow putty was made, causing the scientists looking at the ISS's cameras to believe that the light was coming from extra-terrestrial beings.

    A huge green candy cane was made in San Francisco after half a ton of Chameleon putty was sent to the arctic, and another half ton was sent to the African Savannah.

    People who couldn't get to Santa Monica in time swarmed the website www.puttyworld.com.