72 year old president Donald John Trump was exposed in the speech room by accidentally showing his extremely orange neck. Plutonians are known for their extremely orange, thick, necks. Investigators also found many pieces of plutonium stuck to the hairs of his body. This is vital evidence because there were five plutonian asteroids that crashed onto Earth’s surface in 2016. These asteroids were sent to Earth because they were angry that we did not keep them a planet. It was not blood that flowed through his veins and arteries, but rather plutonia, the equivalent of our blood but on pluto. Also, White House hair stylist Spikey Lee confided that Trump’s hair was not alpha-keratin (the material that human hair is made out of) , but they were plutonium fibers (pluto’s equivalent of hair).
Plutonians’ emotions range is the equivalent of a vegetable, so they are also known for divorcing and marrying new younger wives then prior. Plutonians are also known for their despise of foreign relations. However, they are very proficient in making domestic relations (within a country) only. Trump’s “swooshy” hair is also a common hairstyle for young male plutonians. The color yellow in hair is common associated with being lost. Young Plutonians are a light orange, and grow to become a darker shade of orange. One Plutonian year is the equivalent of 248 Earth years. Plutonians commonly live up to 5 plutonian years, which is 1240 earth years..
Plutonian leaders love to banish who they win against. Plutonians also have an unusual tendency of copying other plutonian countries’ constructs such as wall-like structures. Most Plutonians love to use Plutter, (the plutonian equivalent of twitter.) They use Plutter the same way we do. Message friends and try to get likes. Some Plutonians use Plutter to insult one another some to post endless streams of blazork and ferdlov pictures (like Earth's cats and dogs).
Pluto, a dwarf planet, is apparently livable, but it will not be habitable anytime soon. According to astronomists, theories that they have made about how those plutonian asteroids got to Earth. Was it alien technology? Was it luck? We do not know yet. Trump is being held in a laboratory for further study.
-- editorial changes made by Guy Stewart
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