GIANT STINKY BABY SPOTTED WANDERING IN MIDWEST! ON COLLISION COURSE WITH MOUNT RUSHMORE! by Kelly Park

     The United States of America were all in chaos, but when the giant baby showed up, things got more and more chaotic. The giant baby crossed multiple rivers, it seems, judging from its soggy, moldy feet that left sinkholes all over town.

Now the town stinks of feet and mold, but that’s not all. Apparently the baby climbed Mt. Everest and other cold mountains, because its frostbitten fingers, nose, and toes say it all. The poor baby fell asleep on the London Bridge, thinking it was a bed. When it woke up, the baby started crying so loudly that all of the city passed out! They woke up an hour later, but they claim that they couldn’t hear anything for a half hour.

Meanwhile, the baby had stopped crying and was marching towards the Golden Gate in California! We fortunately could track the baby with helicopters and cars. Once the baby reached the Golden Gate, which was glowing like fire in the darkness, it snatched the bridge right off the road and started playing with it, thinking that it was a toy car or a toy airplane.

The baby continued its path of destruction when a mysterious hooded figure in Illinois spoke to the baby in a soothing voice and coaxed the baby to sleep. As the baby fell asleep, we all noticed that the baby had a black necklace. Then, the figure ripped the necklace off the baby’s neck and crushed it underneath the his/her foot. As soon as the necklace was crushed, the baby started shrinking until it was normal sized, once again.

The mysterious hooded figure pick the baby up, went up to one of the woman in the crowd, and gave the baby to her. “Amari!” the woman cried. She said to the figure, “Thank you so much for saving my baby!” and walked off, rocking the sleeping baby in her arms. As soon as the woman left, people started surrounding the hooded figure and asking questions. “Who are you?” and “Where are you from?” and “How did you know what to do?” and, lastly, “Can you take your hood off?”. The figure reached up to pull back his/her hood, and we all held our breaths. The figure pulled back his/her hood…

Only a little bit so we could see a smile on his/her face. Then, the figure disappeared into thin air! We were all silent for a good minute, and we burst into chaos. Ever since the figure disappeared, this has been on the news for weeks, and the military has been searching for this mysterious person. Who is this person? And will we ever see him/her again? Stay tuned for the next amazing news!

Wasabi in Water System, Crocodiles Charged by Lauren Scherer

    Recently the water in Charlotte, North Carolina has been spicy in flavor, and it was found that a group of crocodiles from downtown New York's sewers have been collecting wasabi from sushi restaurants and crawling through the sewers all the way to Charlotte and piping wasabi into the water system for unknown reasons.

    One person from Charlotte says, "I was so sad when I accidentally dropped my sushi in my glass of water-I'm still working on using chopsticks-but it actually tasted amazing!"

    A crocodile from NY says, "Snap, bite bite, snap roar."

    One crocodile mistook some green thinking putty for wasabi, resulting in multiple clogged pipes.

    One woman in Charlotte who's allergic to wasabi died last night after chewing on a pen that had gotten water spilled on it.

    One crocodile called the situation, "Snap roar, bite."

Personal Essay by Sammi Lenertz

The Internet is home to over 1.8 billions websites. There are nearly 130 million books on Earth. There are roughly 6,500 languages spoken. Needless to say, this is a lot of information.

Scientists say that at the moment, it’s impossible to know it all. Even the content of a million websites would be extremely difficult to find out. Just fifty million books would cause a headache. And a thousand languages would be absolutely mind breaking.

You can’t ‘know everything’. It’s not only a fact, but common sense as well. You have no way of figuring out what I thought on May 17^th, 2014, at 1:03 pm.  Even I don’t know that. So, therefore, you can’t know everything.

So why do some people act like they do? Is it to annoy others? Convince them you’re smarter? Or are you actually convinced you’re the human iPhone?

I suppose for some people, it’s just their nature. To help you guys out, here are a few tips for figuring you’re not Einstein back from the dead.

Admit you’re wrong.

If you act like you’re always correct, people will just eventually become annoyed. Don’t sell yourself short, but be humble, too.

Listen to others.

Chances are, somebody knows something you don’t. Pay attention, even if you ‘need’ to.

Give others a chance.

Don’t raise your hand for the hundredth time in a row if someone else is, too. Give others time to shine—the spotlight wasn’t made for you.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, and that you learned a bit, too.

GOLDFISH KILLS CAT!!!! by Juliet Heffelbower

The Luanne’s (Loo-ay-n) who own Bubbles the goldfish did not see it coming when Bubble’s bowl tipped and landed on the family's cat, Whiskers, killing Whiskers which was clearly not an accident.

After the scene,Mr. Luanne scooped Bubbles up with a notecard and placed him in a extra tank. “I could not just let Bubbles die even if he was a cat killer” says the kind-hearted Mr. Luanne. “It would have hurt the kids a lot more if another one of their beloved pets died.” He says.

“We were all surprised that Bubbles did that.” says Mrs. Luanne. “He typically just swims around his tank and does not even notice Whiskers. Sometimes he even enjoys Whiskers company while he swims,” She stated.

The children were devastated that Whickers was pet for the last time, but are glad that Bubbles survived.

The family will be getting a cat named Whiskers Jr. this January.

Dogs by Kelly Park

 Love dogs? Me too! 

Dogs are obviously the best, but if you disagree, ask yourself, why do you hate dogs? I personally prefer dogs because dogs are WAY more active than cats and play with you. 

Cats, even if you call for them, they just ignore you and sleep all day. Sure, they get active once in a while, but please! They just sleep or lay down 20/24 hours of the day.

Did you know that if a cat lives 15 years, it sleeps 10 years of its’ life?! BORING. On the other hand, dogs are active and play with you all day. You can teach them special tricks and they are easier to teach than cats. They can also guard your house from strangers and burglars, but cats can’t. 

There is a REASON why a dog is called a man’s best friend, you know. It’s a constant companion!  So, to all the dog-haters in the world, think again.

A Pinch Of Wonder by Kelly Park

 Sometimes, A Pinch Of Wonder is all it takes.

A Pinch Of Wonder.

A Bit Of Power.

A Rumble Of Thunder.

A Flash Of Fire.

Is All I Desire.

But Plunder I Do Not Beg For,

For It Harms The Poor,

It Harms Them To The Core.

Their Hearts You Have Tore,

Try Not To Tear Them More.

If You Can, Make Them Soar.

Get Them High Up In The Clouds,

Where They Can Stand, Tall And Proud.

Where They Are Allowed,

To Be Loud.

But You Can’t Fix,

Not With A Bag Of Tricks.

But You Can Fix,

With A Rule Of Six.

Be Kind.

Be Strong.

Be Wise.

Be Helpful.

Be You.

And, Lastly, Follow Your Heart.

SOME THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK

I learned that when you write, do not waste the reader's time by explaining something in too much, unnecessary detail, so that something that should be explained in a minute is explained in ten minutes. You do not want to lose the reader's trust this way. -- Darrel Zhao

I learned that you have to revise, because nothing is ever perfect on the first try. -- Sammi Lenertz

Something I’ve learned is, that in fantasy you can’t just make it up. You need to set up your own government. Make new type of people. Recreate democracy. I also learned that my favorite authors got rejected a bunch of times. I just can’t believe such good books were rejected!  -- by Sigalit Cassuto

I learned how to properly write journalism. -- Lauren Scherer