The Case of the Missing Chromebooks by Darrel Zhou, Aiden Schmidt, and Kevin Samey,

FYI: MAKE YOUR OWN NAMES

OPENING SCENE: ROBBERS

(Both robbers collecting chromebooks)

ROBBER 1: {Collecting Chromebooks} Hey, (ROBBER 2), how many will we get?

ROBBER 2: {Collecting Chromebooks} As much as you can.

ROBBER 1: {Facing ROBBER 2, stammering} B-but w-what if w-we g-get c-c-caught?

ROBBER 2: {with a sly smile} We won’t. We’ll blast them and they’ll never catch us.

ROBBER 1: {Regaining confidence but still scared} Okay.

(WALK OUT OF FRAME)

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SECOND SCENE: DETECTIVE

(DETECTIVE WALKS INTO FRAME)

DETECTIVE: {Reading a newspaper at his desk}

DETECTIVE: {Realizing that there was a crime} Oh my goodness! Another crime? {looking back at newspaper} Stealing Chromebooks!? I’ve got to solve this!

{DETECTIVE WALKS OUT OF FRAME}

_____________________________________________________________________

THIRD SCENE: DETECTIVE AND ROBBERS

{DETECTIVE ARRIVING AT THE CHROME STORE/CRIME SCENE}

DETECTIVE: {muttering} What Happened?

{DETECTIVE KEEPS MUTTERING AS ROBBER 1 AND ROBBER 2 SNEAK UP BEHIND HIM}

ROBBER 2: {Cracks knuckles} Oh I knew you would nose into MY crime!

ROBBER 1: {cautiously} Isn’t it OUR crime?

ROBBER 2: {looks at ROBBER 1, frustrated) SHUT IT ROBBER 1! {Looks back at DETECTIVE} Now, you better cry out your last words before I give you a whoopin’!

ROBBER 1: Yeah you better!

{DETECTIVE RAISES HIS HANDS AND TURNS AROUND}

DETECTIVE: Okay, you got me. I surrender. And Mama, I’m sorr…. {Grabs chest and goes into a fake cardiac arrest}

ROBBER 1: Well, that was kinda easy.

ROBBER 2: Yeah. well, let’s go.

{ROBBERS 1 and 2 WALK AWAY}

DETECTIVE: {Gets his portable, expandable cage from his belt and throws it at the two robbers} Yeah, well, for one thing, don’t assume anything.

ROBBER 1 AND ROBBER 2: {cage expands around them, enclosing them inside} What the…?

DETECTIVE: Now, let me ask. Where are the..

ROBBER 1 AND 2: {interrupting} 14325 Mischief Ln. N 55342

Dark Chocolate Doggerel by Darrel Zhao

What’s that I smell? It smells like gold

It looks real brown, and it tastes real bold.

What’s that I taste? It’s choco-heaven

With a little bitty bit of tasty lemon

What’s that I see? It’s one big jar

of a big brown piece of a dark-choco bar.

What’s that I hear? It’s footsteps, I think.

And I hear weird sounds like CLINK, CLINK, CLINK

Oh no, oh no! It’s my big, big brother!

Who came back, with my big big father!

SOME THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK

I learned that when you write, do not waste the reader's time by explaining something in too much, unnecessary detail, so that something that should be explained in a minute is explained in ten minutes. You do not want to lose the reader's trust this way. -- Darrel Zhao

I learned that you have to revise, because nothing is ever perfect on the first try. -- Sammi Lenertz

Something I’ve learned is, that in fantasy you can’t just make it up. You need to set up your own government. Make new type of people. Recreate democracy. I also learned that my favorite authors got rejected a bunch of times. I just can’t believe such good books were rejected!  -- by Sigalit Cassuto

I learned how to properly write journalism. -- Lauren Scherer

TRUMP RECOGNIZED AS PLUTONIAN COLONIST!!!!! UNABLE TO RUN USA!!! by Kevin Samey and Darrel Zhao

72 year old president Donald John Trump was exposed in the speech room by accidentally showing his extremely orange neck.  Plutonians are known for their extremely orange, thick, necks. Investigators also found many pieces of plutonium stuck to the hairs of his body. This is vital evidence because there were five plutonian asteroids that crashed onto Earth’s surface in 2016. These asteroids were sent to Earth because they were angry that we did not keep them a planet. It was not blood that flowed through his veins and arteries, but rather plutonia, the equivalent of our blood but on pluto. Also, White House hair stylist Spikey Lee confided that Trump’s hair was not alpha-keratin (the material that human hair is made out of) , but they were plutonium fibers (pluto’s equivalent of hair).

Plutonians’ emotions range is the equivalent of a vegetable, so they are also known for divorcing and marrying new younger wives then prior. Plutonians are also known for their despise of foreign relations. However, they are very proficient in making domestic relations (within a country) only. Trump’s “swooshy” hair is also a common hairstyle for young male plutonians. The color yellow in hair is common associated with being lost. Young Plutonians are a light orange, and grow to become a darker shade of orange. One Plutonian year is the equivalent of 248 Earth years. Plutonians commonly live up to 5 plutonian years, which is 1240 earth years..

Plutonian leaders love to banish who they win against. Plutonians also have an unusual tendency of copying other plutonian countries’ constructs such as wall-like structures. Most Plutonians love to use Plutter, (the plutonian equivalent of twitter.) They use Plutter the same way we do. Message friends and try to get likes. Some Plutonians use Plutter to insult one another some to post endless streams of blazork and ferdlov pictures (like Earth's cats and dogs).

Pluto, a dwarf planet, is apparently livable, but it will not be habitable anytime soon. According to astronomists, theories that they have made about how those plutonian asteroids got to Earth. Was it alien technology? Was it luck? We do not know yet. Trump is being held in a laboratory for further study.

-- editorial changes made by Guy Stewart

A Mountain of Acknowledgement by Darrel Zhao

A mountain of acknowledgement

For all those who went avant-garde

Standing out, in the crowd

Rewarding those who worked hard.

Acknowledgement feels good,

Especially if you were studious

Through study and patience  

honesty and grit

Nobody will doubt you hence.

War Threnody by Darrel Zhao

War is a game of chess,

You have to think ahead.

You plan your combatant's moves

Or you’ll lose more or less.

War is very saddening,

Very saddening indeed.

But you must focus

through patience and strength

And give the fight some heed.

But fighting for one’s country,

is very tough indeed.

Lives lost, family missed,

All the way to the last plea,

I’d like to tell them “thank you,” for

their gracious duty.